Goodbye to a Year that Thrived on Mediocrity

Oh yeah, Year 2010 is on its way out. It’s been a while since I wrote my last post, and with the year end staring into my eyes, it’s time for a recap - as has been the practice year after year.

Now, that doesn’t mean I’m gonna do a newspaper or magazine or news channel-type recap of the year. In fact, nothing this year calls for a blog post. Every single incident has been an also-ran - be it Kalmadi, Abhishek Bachchan, Radia, Barkha or even the CWG for that matter.

Just also-rans all were, in a nation where mediocrity thrives. Okay, think again, and this being the so-called year-ender post, I guess I should scribble down something about why mediocre people and mediocre events turned big in the Indian landscape.

One question: Who the heck is Barkha? Partner-in-lobbying Vir Sanghvi had been a journalist all these years. Somehow, I adored him for his writings and way with words. May be, I still will love his words on print, notwithstanding the error in judgment he committed. That doesn’t mean he did us all proud.

And Barkha? The day I first saw her on television “reporting/ screaming aloud” from inside a bunker on a battlefield, I had told myself, this woman is fake. It took more than a decade, it seems, for the whole of India to realize that. Barkha, sadly, has corrupted many young minds who aspired (and are still aspiring) to get into television journalism. For, 24x7 journalism meant Barkha to many, Sad!

Sad things aside, what else made year 2010 worth talking about? Indian mainstream cinema had much to talk about. On one side there was Aisha and on the other 3 Idiots. While Aisha proved yet again that it needed more than clout, plastic-faced dolls and a dim-witted director to make a movie, 3 Idiots showed Bollywood why a committed approach was a must to make a movie that people would go watch again and again.

Talking Bollywood, I guess I need to say more. Instead of wasting precious web space writing paragraphs on undeserving stuff, permit me to list them down. Here’s what I understood watching Bollywood during 2010:

1. A Dabaang can’t be salvaged by a beefcake sporting a moustache or an almost-naked sis-in-law.
2. Greek god (sic) persona is fine, but flying Kites on a Juhu apartment terrace could be more rewarding than acting for some.
3. An unshaven visage, bulging eyes or arrogance don’t make one an actor. Ditto if he attempts to play the modern-day demon king.
4. Being married into cinema’s first family doesn’t make one an actress. You need to ACT, madam.

Malayalam mainstream cinema too saw mediocrity hit the jackpot. Chunky old men in military garb drew applause from lazy screen idol-worshippers. Army stories continued to be a rage, even when potbellied protagonists flew combat aircraft.

A whole lot of aged men were forced to dance, love and flirt and combat extra terrestrials in the name of horror-comedies and we, the mediocre audience, laughed out loud so that the producers laughed all the way to the bank. Comedy took the mediocre route, and so did mainstream Malayalam cinema.

Year 2010 saw news television plumb the depths. More so, in the land where I live! Chat shows turned funnier than ever before, while spot reporting exposed added mediocrity, time and again. The thriving traits of mediocre people behind the microphone continued to be applauded. And, on this side of the television set, we had a whole new bunch of mediocre audience. They too thrived, applauding mediocrity aired into their living rooms.

Year 2010 had been mediocre, to the core. We excelled as a mediocre audience. We made ourselves proud by letting mediocrity invade us. We loved being mediocre. We still watch Barkha, we still read Vir. We still let Dabaangs be super hits. We still wait for Hrithik Roshan’s next movie. We still wish to see Mohanlal as Agent 007. We would sit with eyes glued on to television when Abhishek and Aishwarya take the rapid fire questions on a lifeless KJo Show and look forward to see another celluloid trash starring the star couple.

We still watch news television knowing that what we hear and see are made up. We still wait to see Anil Kapoor’s daughters ruin our three hours of quality time again and yet again. We still look forward to a film maker who once used to make watchable movies, but was then enamored by a star couple later on, thereby scripting his own filmy doom. We would still let Raja, Kalmadi and Co re-assume offices in a few years’ time. We still wish to have Chief Ministers of the likes of VS Achuthanandan and Mayawati so that they could always be the leading lights on our path towards mediocrity.

We love mediocrity. We excel at letting mediocrity seep into our lives no end. We love to let messengers of mediocrity rule our lives. We still wait to see Barkha on TV. We still wait to watch Mani’s movies. We still watch news television. We will miss you 2010.