The Man I Never Would Want to Bid Goodbye

I suppose, in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.  (Life of Pi)

Year 2003. When Vishal Bharadwaj made Maqbool, I never even had the slightest knowledge on who this bearded young man sharing screen space with Pankaj Kapur, Naseeruddin Shah and Om Puri, was. Though I was watching the film then for Shah, Kapoor, and Puri, it was this man who sneaked into my heart and made it his home. He never ever left. This man, I knew as the credits rolled, was named Irrfan Khan.  Maqbool was indeed a revelation. Three ace actors, a talented actress (Tabu), and then this young man who would rule supreme in the years that followed, made Maqbool the best among all Bharadwaj ventures - for me, that is.

Maqbool wasn’t his first work onscreen, I realised later. The role made me crave for more from him, I began looking for more on him, and he soon started displaying himself as someone I had noticed but forgotten, in a slew of television series and films (like Ek Doctor ki Maut, Salaam Bombay et al). Maqbool, for me, was Irrfan’s blooming pad. And, then on, he blossomed like the flower kissed by the morning dew.

Post-Maqbool, Irrfan turned out to be the constant in all my web searches, as I tried to zero in on the best viewing experiences Indian cinema could offer me. Amid the sugary romances and the giggle-worthy Bollywood song-and-dance numbers, the fare that the Bharadwajs, the Jhas and their ilk churned out from time to time, came as a whiff of fresh air to me.  This man was not to be seen in many of the films I would have wanted to watch him in. The disappointment was beyond words, as I looked forward to watching an Irrfan flick at least when film makers I loved released their works in delayed frequencies.

And then, though after a slight delay, it poured Irrfan. His characters were much in demand. His unique sense of humour, the gaze that could kill, the poetic manner in which he delivered his lines, his towering presence – all were turning out to be a regular affair in cinemas and also the small screen. He played every character right out of the writer’s mind. The accolades started trickling in, and so did a variety of roles. Vishal Bharadwaj’s version of Macbeth triggered a wide ranging list of characters – each proving to be a milestone in the history of Indian cinema. This man was an enigma to start with, nobody ever thought the lanky, wiry Khan could make the Super-Star Khans to sit up and applaud. Irrfan Khan was different material – and that he proved with his roles in films such as Life … In a Metro, and of course Paan Singh Tomar, after which he walked away with the National Award for Best Actor.

And then, when I watched the much adorable Academy Award winning actor Tom Hanks talk high of Irrfan Khan as a friend and co-star, I knew he had arrived on the international arena. That was when I started looking for more on the actor. I was willing to give away any number of hours to watch this man on screen. There he was on the global screen, it was a joy sitting glued to him as he performed his best in every role he was picked for.  And, more than all that, he made sure the audience in me took home his characters to talk to, and debate with. Even as international screen performances through Life of Pi, Inferno and many more flooded every film buff’s imagination, characters like those he did in films ranging from Yun Hota Toh Kya Hota, Lunchbox, Piku and many more, stayed on. They will forever.

The ailment called neuroendocrine tumour has signed him up for his last outing. He is on his way to be by the side of his mother who passed away five days ago. The loss cannot be gauged. The body of work he has left behind shall speak for him. Generations to come shall know that this man had lit up the screen and minds of thousands of film goers around the world while he was on a roll.  

The twinkle in your eyes, the verse that flowed out every time you uttered a line, the presence that was enough to dwarf even the best co-star of yours – everything seems to have vanished. But yet, Irrfan, I would never want to say goodbye to you.