SOLITUDE SCRIBBLES

No Goodbyes for You Mohanan is no more. The quintessential errands boy has called it quits even before he could tell. He hadn’t mastered the art of bidding goodbye - he never had to. Omnipresence was his trait; no goodbye went well with his character. He was at my beck and call. Not just mine, he was Chempakassery’s own errands lad. The smiling kid of around 55 years, he preceded his arrival with a stink of arrack. He cycled into my heart with the cute childish smile half-hidden behind the whiskers on his unkempt visage. He, for me, had been Man Friday. Mohanan is dead and gone. Not from my thoughts, though. Mohanan who, you tend to ask? He had been the Communist who never graduated from working class status. The hard drinking, beedi -puffing frail man, at least for me, was an ideal candidate to be the red bastion’s mascot. However, he had lost out in the race, not being able to shout slogans or hack opponents at will. He had been so neutral whenever he spoke on political affairs,

Dear Manmohan Singhji, Permit me to introduce myself at the outset. Nameless I used to be at the time of my birth, but once I got into my teens, I heard from the rags that I was christened Shera and elevated to a position any Bengal Tiger of my ilk would covet being in. So now I, Shera, am the official mascot of the Common Wealth Games and I am told the kids in India already have my pictures as wallpaper for their PCs. Let me express my gratitude for according me such an envious position. However, respected Pradhanmantriji, the manner in which I’m being treated of late brings to me suicidal tendencies. I’m averse to killing myself, and try not to end it all as I would be deemed a criminal by my fellow Sherus. For, as you know I hail from a family that has been bracketed as Endangered. Your government knows very well we are just a few in number, and that makes us a minority. Sad still, we do not also have the right to claim our minority rights as minorities are a akin to just doormats

Aisheeeeeeeeeeesh! • The Effort: Aisha! • The Result: 3 hours of quality time LOST! • Sonam Kapoor: Why doesn’t she at least attempt to act? • The Other Actors: Should try some other job they are comfortable with. • The Director: Robber of Scenes – a foolish one at that. Doesn’t even deserve a mention, so leaving his name out. • Abhay Deol: Lost all confidence in him. Sad, I used to be a fan of his. • The Advice: Stay away at least 200 m from cinemas that play this movie. Even the dialogues you overhear could make you insane.